Thursday March 02, 2017
“Ah, welcome to The Remnants, how can I help you today?” The man behind the counter smiled and asked.
The store was a large space, a converted warehouse with tall ceilings and little more than a coat of paint over the bare walls and metal girders of the roof. Of course it needed a lot of space to house it’s merchandise.
Scanning across the room towards the back I could see several large sections of the missile Dr. Destructo had fired at the city last year, along with several other tall structures I couldn’t easily identity.
In front of those where rows of shelves filled with other objects, left over from any number of fights between the superhero’s and their foes. Right up front was the counter and a series of glass cases, holding the rarer items, the cream of the crop to so speak.
“We have significant items from many of the highest profile fights in the city’s history. I can tell you’re a man of refined tastes, can I show you something from the Mystic Madness episode perhaps?” the shop keep continued.
I smiled, “Actually I have something to sell, something very unique.”
The shop keeper raised an eyebrow, “We’re always interested in acquiring new stock, did you bring it with you?”
“Yes, but it’s in the van, it’s a little large to carry around.”
“Of course, bring the van around back and pull it in to the garage so I can see what you have.”
I walked back out and pulled the van around, just as I turned the corner a steel door finished rolling up and I pulled in, the door closing behind me as I did. I exited the van and walked around back where the shop keeper was waiting.
I grabbed the handle for the door and cracked it open, then swung both doors to the side so he could get a good look at my merchandise.
“Oh my!” he said as he saw the shapely blonde woman sitting on the inflatable couch, clad in pink and blue latex, her unmistakable goggles strapped to her head.
“The Speedsress! There had been rumors of her capture, how on earth did you do it?”
“I wish I could take the credit for it, I’m afraid I just stumbled upon her the other day at a site I was hired to clean up.”
“A cleanup man eh? Do you specialize in the hero incidents?”
“No, too much trouble usually, though I have to admit they are quite lucrative.”
“That they can be. So, tell me more about her and what do you want to do with your merchandise?”
“Well, she doesn’t seem to be able to leave the inflatable couch and beyond some basic commands doesn’t seem to be able to respond to much. Let me show you, Thumper, ass up.”
The Speedsress rolled over as the air couch squeaked and then pulled her knees under her, sending her ass in the air as she pushed her face down on to the plastic.
“Yes, it seems to be all she responds too now.”
“Huh… I wonder where Bambi is then?” the shop keeps said with a little chuckle.
“Yea, me too. But anyway, as I’m sure you can imagine, she responds to pretty much any basic command. There are a few that seem to trigger a verbal response. Thumper, what’s your favorite game?”
“Pump Thumper’s rump! Pump Thumper’s rump! Thumper loves to play pump Thumper’s rump!” the squirming blonde replied.
“I see, and you’re looking to sell?”
“Yes, as much fun as she’s been the last couple of days, I have no desire for one of her friends to show up at my door. I asked around a bit and while no one would say anything out right, I think you may have the connections to unload this particular piece of merchandise.”
“Yes, I think I can help with that. My normal fee, for the stuff out front is a 20% commission, but for these specialty items I take a lot more risk so I double my normal fee.”
“40%? That seems reasonable all things considered.” I replied and extended my hand, he shook it in return.
“Good, give me a hand then.” the shop keeper said and walked over and started up a fork lift. He raised the forks and slide them carefully under air couch and then lifted them up, Thumper still with her ass in the air.
I followed along behind him as he drove to a large, heavy, vault door and stopped. A quick entry of the pass code swung it open and he drove in and down a corridor. It was lined with stalls, many were empty, but a two contained other fallen heroins. I didn’t recognize them, but that didn’t matter, their costumes left little doubt as to what they had been.
He turned in to one of the alcoves and set Thumper down and pulled back.
“She’ll be safe here for the time being, the other two have already been sold so you had good timing as I was otherwise out of stock.”
“So how much do you usually get for one?”
“Well those two are pretty low level, so they only brought $500k each. But your Thumper is a good find. A tier 1 hero like her should bring $5m or more. I think I know a couple of interested parties that should push up the bidding.”
I swallowed hard, “$5m?”
“Oh yes, there’s a world wide demand for fallen hero’s. Thumper will be held back because of the rudimentary job that was done on her programming, she’ll go to someone with a nice lair to house her in, but a tier one hero that can be taken out in public as a trophy wife can easily bring 40 to 50 million.”
“I’d never have guessed.”
We walked back out of the vault and he resealed it and then we made our way back to my van.
“So, how do I…”
“Get paid? Not to worry, cash or a nice swiss bank account if you prefer. Just let me know or if you need some help with it I can referre you to someone.”
“Cash will be fine.”
“Good. I should be a few weeks, you have a number I can contact you at or would you prefer to just drop back in?”
“I’ll come back in a few weeks, that’s fine.”
“Fabulous. And of course, it goes without saying, if you have any more lucky finds, I’m aways interested in new merchandise.”
I smiled from ear to ear, “You’ll be the first to know if I do.”
“A pleasure doing business with you then.”
I started the van and backed out, driving in to the night. Perhaps specializing in hero cleanup wouldn’t be too much trouble after all.